losing the touch

[parch]

when pen first touched paper i was writing for me and for her, to get her to see me. and then it became something more than that...it became writing because i wanted to be good, i wanted to have something i was good at, and then i found a pupose in writing.
writing is freedom
it lets everything go and burst and explode sometimes..and other times it pull you together.
the still water, the rain, the blood, the past, the future, tears, fears, children laughing, clouds, flowers, day, night, colors all so bright into my eyes...so powerful.
it was raining in soon...pouring into me
and out onto paper
but then the blood became too much...the fear...the hate, too much consuming me...too much...way too much.
so the eating began, the year or two of nothing, the fury burned, and poetry came in simple strokes, small feats they seemed. but it was all nothing, nothing for everything and nothing came out like water, or blood or anything but it still remains nothing.
so after nothing....draining like everything mattered...i was left alone...with the emptiness and i touched it. i felt the emptiness touch me back...touch me inside so deep and so strong that colors changed and shapes disappeared. the days and nights faded...the fury faded, all hate faded, all love had already been gone and then there was this...
the lost vision, the empty sky, the broken, stolen, beaten, divided, singular, hole
and i felt it carve into me like a knife...it paraded around with me...telling me i was something for nothing, everything together, but nothing comin out, the only one who doesn't matter anymore, the only one left, the only face...and i believed it
so now i come here
and i'm in this sense of awe
what has happened...i'm still not sure
but maybe...
maybe i'm waking up
or maybe not
i could just be
losing the touch
losing the feeling

___---parch

...tell me what you think...i don't think it ended very well...give me suggestions if you want..

[machinery]

I don't think I ever read this one. Sorry. From what I read on my first time through, I really liked it. I will have to read it again to try and be more helpful to you. Once isn't enough for this beauty.